Gymnast Alicia Sacramone is hot.
Have you ever watched any Field Hockey? I did. It is kind of like Soccer only it is even dumber and they all carry sticks.
If you don't think the Olympics are truly an international event all you have to do is look at the athlete's names. Abdi Abdirahman, Sadam Ali, Bolota Asmeron, and Oluwafunmilayc Jimoh are just a few. And they are all from the United States...
Diver Kelci Bryant is hot.
There has been quite a bit of controversy over the age of the female Chinese gymnasts. While I agree that there are several of them that don't even look 13 much less 16, I wonder if it is a good idea to keep pointing out that these babies are kicking everyones asses.
The physique of some of the althletes is scary. I was watching the female sprinters getting ready to line up for a preliminary heat and it reminded me of the pack of Velociraptors from Jurassic Park.
The whole Synchronized Swimming team is hot.
After a week of watching Michael Phelps performances in the water, I think they should add DNA testing to the drug tests. That guy has to be part dolphin.
There is no better female sports commentator than Mary Carilo.
This the the last time that Softball and Baseball will be in the Olympics. I guess that will leave more time to cover bigger sports like Rhythmic Gymnastics and Air Pistol.
Some last names are extremely common and some are extremely rare but they all have meaning (this would be a good spot to insert the meaning of my own last name and I probably should have thought of that before I wrote this because I haven't a clue and all my searching comes back empty).
Names like Johnson, Anderson, Isacson and Persdotter were at one time derived from a father's first name; John's Son, Ander's Son, Per's Daughter.
Names like Cook, Carpenter, Plumber and Miller were derived from a man's occupation.
Names like Fox and Bird are taken right from the animals with the same name.
So where did British Olympian Liam Tancock get his surname from?
]]>From windfall profit taxes to releasing oil from the strategic reserve, there have been many suggestions on how to bring the price of gas down but it seems that nothing works better than an impending election.
If my feet were attached to my waist instead of to the end of my legs then my shoes would always be tied.
In what could go down as the worst timing ever for an ad campaign, Greyhound's latest that was rolled out only recently uses the slogan "There is a reason you have never heard of bus rage."
I am thinking air conditioning might be the best invention ever. What do you think?
]]>Researchers are now saying that watermelon can have the same effect on men as Viagra. This luscious, oval fruit that can be found in almost any supermarket has the same ability to raise the periscope as the little blue pill. Since I always strive to make sure that everything I write on this blog is absolutely true, I decided to do a little experiment on behalf of my readers.
I was, of course, quite skeptical at first. How could this ripe, red, juciy fruit put the tally back in a tallywhacker? It didn't seem possible but I headed off to the produce section at my local super center to pick up my supplies.
There was a large variety to choose from and I had to fondle quite a few melons before finding the perfect ones. The article wasn't clear on how much it would take so I decided I better grab two.
I finally found a perfectly matched pair. Not too big. Not too small. More oval than round. Firm but not hard. Much to my surprise, I was already starting to feel a little stirring from Willie and the Poor Boys. Could this actually work?
I started on the first melon and, while there was a little bit of a reaction, no fireworks exploded. However, once I started in to the second melon, things immediately started picking up! My Louisville Slugger was ready to hit one out of the park! I couldn't believe it. The researchers were dead on the money. This common, everday fruit was doing better than Pfizer's little blue miracle pill.
I have to say that the experiment was a big success guys. When you need a little extra help relieving the stress, go for the melons. I will even let you in a few things I learned from my experiment to help you along,
Don't make the hole in the watermelon too big. I think that is why the first one didn't quite work.
Take the watermelon home first. I now have to explain to Miss Vicki why I am not allowed in Meijers any more.
]]>Here is the story I am talking about from CNN.com: Army Medical Training
Apparently, in order to train medics for combat conditions, the army is going to shoot pigs and have them treated by the medics.
WTF?
Maj. Derrick Cheng from the 25th Infantry Division says "It's to teach Army personnel how to manage critically injured patients within the first few hours of their injury."
WTF?
When asked if there were more modern techniques available such as human body simulators, Cheng said, "Those alternative methods just can't replicate what the troops are going to face when we use live-tissue training," he said. "What we're doing is unique to what the soldiers are going to actually experience."
The last time I checked, it was not pigs that were getting shot in Iraq and Afghanistan. I refuse to believe that operating on a bloody pig will better prepare these guys to be medics. If I have a bloody pig sitting in front of me, I am thinking spare ribs and pork chops.
Unless they plan on deploying these medics to a Bob Evans factory, I agree with PETA. There has to be a better way.
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Vacation time folks! Miss Vicki and I are headed to the North woods of Wisconsin for a family reunion and I won't have access all next week. I will talk to you when we get back on the 28th or 29th.
]]>The price of gas is tied directly to the cost of a barrel of crude oil. Whenever this cost changes, it sets in motion a complex series of calculations to determine what to charge at the pump. If the price is set too low, oil company executives run the risk of lower profits which could snowball into them having to cut back on the household staff. If the price is set too high, well, no one knows the consequences as this has never happened.
The price of a gallon of gas has nothing to do with what they paid for the inventory they currently have in their 20,000 gallons tanks as the cost of this gas was was determined two months before and delivered last week. They look at what it will cost to replace the gas they now have in their tanks next week at a price that was set one month ago while hoping to offset any increases in crude oil that day for delivery in 6 weeks. This is called the Mart McFly Formula.
Once all this information is gathered, it is entered into the computers along with other tidbits such as how the war is going in Iraq, what the hurricanes are doing in the ocean, government estimates on supplies and where they want to go on their next vacation.
Once the numbers are crunched, a report is then spit out and put on the desk of the Vice President of Finance, Underwriting, Calculations, Knowledge, and Educational Management for review.
Who then analyzes the report for 17 seconds and throws a dart at a dartboard...
]]>Fed struggle with mortgage rules - Seeing all the horses running around, they also suggest that the barn doors be locked
IndyMac: Your money is safe - They went on to say, Your check is in the mail, it only hurts for a moment and they will respect you in the morning
Obama to visit West Bank next week - States that he is on top of the banking crisis...
Gas prices set another record - So has my checking account balance
Anheuser-Busch sold to Belgians - The Clydesdales are really pissed
Polar base evacuated as ice melts early - Wussies
Brinkley's ex says he's sorry for tryst - Says he never meant to hurt David but Huntley seduced him
Miss Universe crowned; Miss USA trips -- again - I refuse to acknowledge the title until Miss Alpha Centauri is one of the contestants
Anchor tumbles down hill in Zorb - Fisherman says he didn't know the hill was there
From FOXNEWS.com:
Family: Woman With 5 Dead Husbands Can't Be Trusted - Sounds like she can be trusted in one area - insurance.
Pizza Robbery Thwarted by Fast Thinking Clerk,... - I would have bet I would never see "fast thinking clerk" and "pizza" in the same sentence...
Today's WTF:
]]>We met some friends for dinner last night. There was an interminably long wait to get in (more about that on a separate blog). During our stay, we saw one young family with several little ones head inside. After a few minutes they decided they were not going to wait and headed out. As they were exiting, one of the kids - a boy of about 4 or 5 years - was trying to point out something very important to his father. We heard him state with a confused tone in his voice "Daaaad. We didn't eat anything."
The state of Utah announced the other day that they are going to a four day work week in all state offices to conserve energy. CNNMoney.com has a poll question today that asks how much gas a four day work week would save. I couldn't help notice that these both happened AFTER my suggestion in the posting MY ENERGY POLICY. While no one thanked me directly yet, it looks like they are starting to take my presidential bid seriously...
The White House has apologized for a mistake that was made in the press kits that were distributed for the G- 8 Summit. In a book of background information on the world leaders attending the conference, Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi was described as one of the "most controversial leaders in the history of a country known for government corruption and vice." Obviously this info was transposed with the info for the leader that immediately followed Berlusconi in the alphabetically arranged book.
Mother nature pissed me off yesterday. Although we had high winds, torrential rains and hail (all things that are not conducive to an outdoor festival), that is not what got me mad. What got me going was the fact that it was July 2nd and I was being swarmed by both Junebugs and Mayflies. Someone needs to get Mom a calendar.
The area Miss Vicki and I run has a small stage where regional bands perform every day. There was a seven hour long battle of the bands the other day. I read in the brochure that the genre was "Youth". That surprised me. I thought the genre was "Four Kids That Have Never Touched a Musical Instrument Before On Stage With The Volume Cranked As Loud As It Could Be And A Lead Singer With A Microphone Attached To His Hand And 120 Volt Live Wires Attached To His Testicles."
We have two members of our committee that we call our site staff. They handle all the mechanical / electrical / "We're out of toilet paper" problems that we encounter. To protect the innocent, I will call them Ray and Alf. The other morning, our canopies were sagging from the water that had collected on them so they went over to push them up to drain the water. At least that is what I was told when I asked why Alf was walking around half naked with his wet shirt laying out in the sun...
That's it for today. Talk to you later!
]]>Don't get in line behind me.
While I consider myself a guy with above average intelligence and pride myself on my ability to think logically, I suck when it comes to choosing the right line. Whatever part of the brain that controls line choosing functions or whichever gene it takes to instinctively guide us to the right space, I simply don't have.
At McDon'talds, Burger Kingsizemybutt, or Taco Hell, I will always be behind the one person in the civilized world that has never been there before and will need each and every item on the menu explained to them as they stare blankly at the glowing menu board.
I will always be behind the guy at the toll booth that somehow manages to throw his coins to the pavement, completely missing the Grand Canyon sized basket two inches from his hand.
The person in front of me at the ATM seems to always be one step down on the evolutionary ladder and will randomly punch buttons like a monkey in a lab trying to determine the right combination to dispense food. And the monkey gets it's food quicker than my Neanderthal man gets his money.
Even if I find a lane at the grocery store that has no line, the scanner will not function correctly, the register will crash or the clerk will suddenly pass out from an acute case of scurvy.
I don't even want to tell you what happens when there is a line at a public rest room.
So, there you have it folks. My little "tip of the day" to help make your life a little easier.
Don't get behind Big Billy
(I just teed it up with that last line. Start swinging)
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